Thursday, June 30, 2011

He Never Wanted Our Dog?!

He never wanted the house. He never wanted to change jobs to reduce his commute from an hour and a half down to thirty-five minutes. He says he just used that as an excuse. He says he changed jobs because I couldn't stay on a budget. We weren't even in debt, with the exception of a house payment, but we had money in savings and were fortunate enough not having to live paycheck to paycheck, or worse, like some in this economy.

He makes me feel that he made every decision just to make me happy and that's not true. It's just not true. He thinks he has a hard time saying no. Marriage is give and take and making exceptions for our spouse. It's communicating and compromise and forgiveness. Right?

If he were making decisions just for me and my happiness with no input our whole life would be different. From the vacations we went on, to the furniture we have, the car we drove. Go back all the way to our engagement and the ring we chose together. I'm not saying I would change it, I'm saying that he had input too. This was his life too and if he felt like he didn't speak up for what he wanted, he's mistaken.

But what hurts so much is when he told me he never wanted our dog. Our dog! Our dog?! Our dog!!! Our dog who loves him. Our dog who he taught to roll over, shake hands, shake the other hand, stay with a treat on its nose until he said okay. Our dog who loves to play fetch with him. Our dog who he would roll all over the floor with and play. Our dog who used to lick his hand and lick his hand and lick until every possible taste of his last meal was gone. He's wrong with that too. If he really didn't want the dog, why did we choose the breed he wanted? Don't get me wrong, I love my dog. He's my best friend, especially in these times, and I wouldn't give him up for the world. But why does he feel this wasn't a life he created too? And why is it that he's making me feel that his unhappiness is my fault?

How could you give up and not want this dog?! Tell me how?

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